Thursday, September 25, 2008

Age is mostly a matter of mind, and if you don't mind... IT DOESN'T MATTER!!

Ok, this is a subject that I know a lot of people feel strongly about. Me personally, this is my opinion on it, and I'll let anyone know. Age IS a matter of mind, and that is why so many people have an issue with it. Have you noticed that people that are in their 30's and 40's can meet someone ten years older and no one has an issue with it? Well, that's because once you get past a certain point in your life, the mentality starts to plateau in the maturity level, and most people have gotten a certain idea of what they want out of life and out of relationships. It's a bit different when you are younger, but this is where I want to emphasize a certain point. Even though the likelyhood of someone ten years older meeting and matching someone in their early 20's and having it work isn't that high, it still happens. I have known (and I am one) of those people that are much more mature for their age, and so have always hung around and dated people much older than I am. In general, most people that are 18 to about 23 really are still figuring out where to go and what they want out of life. I believe that once you kick out of this stage, it is a matter of mind, personality, goals... etc.

I had a friend rail me once because they THOUGHT I was interested in a guy that was about 7-8 years younger than me. He was a very mature guy and I believe is now happily married. I was not interested in him, I just wanted to be his friend since he was such a good friend to me. But what rubbed me the wrong way was the way that people jumped on me when they thought that I was interested. He was 22-23 years old, and I thought, so WHAT IF I WAS interested?? We were both adults, had similar mentalities and goals... that's all the stuff you find out when you date someone. I didn't fight them that I wasn't interested, not because I was, but because the bigger issue I felt was that if that guy and I had both been interested, and all the other important factors were there, what did 7-8 years make in the long run?? Would you sacrifice eternal happiness just because society says that you are too far apart in age? 10,000,000,000 years from now, I could be 10,000,000,031 and my husband could be 10,000,000,023 years old and be happy as clams! Doesn't that give you a different perspective???

NOW, I am not saying that everyone should go after someone that is 10 years younger than them at that age. I am just saying that we cannot raise our voices in protest when we do not know for sure. Allow people their free agency to be able to make their own mistakes and go through their own lessons. My grandparents were 10 years apart and I could happily model my goals and perspective after theirs. They were so happy and both passed away only a few years apart from each other. Now they are in a world where age is an eternal view.

The other thing that bugs me is when I see that some people have no problems with an older guy being with a younger woman, but it's different if it's the other way around. The only way that this should be an issue, in my opinion, is in the simple fact that men generally are less mature than women. And once again, though, it goes back to mentality. A more mature man and a not as mature woman could be at the same point in their lives, and have a healthy relationship, growing together.

I have my own opinions on the matter, but I really think that what we need to remember is not to judge. That is Christ's job. We NEVER know exactly what someone is going through, even when we put on their shoes, and go for a mile walk. We are here to love and help each other through our lives, not to judge and persecute. Even if we think that someone we love is making a mistake, it is their mistake to make. Unless they are breaking a law or something, in which we SHOULD step in, we need to allow for free agency. I have dated mostly older men, because of my mentality, but just recently I have actually gone out with a few that were a bit younger. It has opened my eyes a bit, and I hope my eternal perspective.

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